Kill, Blank, Marry
by Je m'appelle Sky
Summary: Our favorite Colonel eavesdrops on his Lieutenant one afternoon. It seems to be that she and her friends are playing a strange game which involves... RoyAi Oneshot / Rated for what the blank is!


**Author's Note: **Ola amigos! Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been caught up with school and I haven't been in touch with my FMA side in a while. Anyway, I got this idea in the shower and I just had to write it. (: Enjoy!

**Dedication: **For Jessica, consider this as partly repayment for everything. Love you Jess!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, it would solely revolve around RoyAi. Bwahahaha

**Kill, Fuck, Marry**_**.**__ – A game played by most female teenagers and female young adults. The game proper is as follows: Someone gives three names. One person will choose who to kill, who to fuck, and who to marry. Names could be anyone provided everyone in the group knows of the person._

"You are awesome." – Talking

"_But I am way awesomer." –Thinking_

* * *

_**Kill, Fuck, Marry by Sky Pastel**_

"Afternoon Colonel Mustang!" exclaimed the short-brown haired officer.

"Oh hey there Lieutenant Roberts, how's my bodyguard doing over at your range?"

Lieutenant Roberts was the range master only the only person who knew better than aiming and shot guns was Riza Hawkeye. Riza could've been the range master for it was a great honor but she'd rather wait on her boss, Roy Mustang.

It was a sunny Tuesday afternoon. Lunch break for the Eastern Command Center in Amestris was almost over.

"She's doing… well you'd know, better than anyone else."

Roy chuckled at the man's statement. "_Of course she'd be doing better than anyone else,"_ thought the Colonel_ "She's mine after all."_

"I'll check up on her before break ends, anyone else there?" asked Roy nonchalantly.

"Hmm, Rebecca arrived when I left and I saw Ross come down the hall on my way here and I think Scieszka left the mess hall early."

Roy's face almost displayed his disappointment; Roberts noticed the little movement and chuckled.

"I wonder what they're doing up there," thought the Lieutenant. "Hard to imagine a group of military ladies acting like a bunch of teenage girls."

The black haired man smirked, imagining them in their little slumber party outfits throwing pillows at each other. In reality it was ladies with their guns throwing bullets at targets all sweaty and jackets off with them bent down and bits of blonde hair sprawled on her face…

"Yeah, I think I'll drop by," Roy gave a slight cough as he stood from where he was seated. "See you, Lieutenant"

Lieutenant Roberts saluted the colonel as he left the mess hall. Once Roy was out of sight, Nathan Roberts grinned to himself thinking about what made the colonel moving.

"_Damn, can't he make a move already? I swear I can't talk to her without hearing his name at least once."_

* * *

Colonel Roy Mustang walked briskly towards the shooting range. He'll show his Lieutenant's colleagues that he's not just some guy their friend waits on. He'll show that he could be a gentleman and a good friend to Hawkeye too.

When Roy finally made it to the hall where the range was, he heard a couple gun shots and an unmistakably fit of laughter after. _"Strange..."_ thought Roy.

Mustang edged closer to the door. Just his luck, the door was slightly open so he could hear what the ladies were saying.

"Hahaha, I know right! So…"

Roy easily recognized the voice to be Rebecca's as she was the loud-harpy type.

"…who would you fuck?" continued Rebecca

"Well that's rather difficult…" said the voice that mattered most to the eavesdropper.

"_.HELL." _Roy pressed his ear tight but not tight enough to push the door to the crack. He couldn't believe what they were doing! His heart sped up as he waited anxiously for her answer…

"Okay, I'd totally fuck the first one." Riza said with a smile in her voice.

"No way!" said Maria Ross immediately

"Riza! I totally thought you'd go for the last one, I mean who wouldn't?" said Rebecca

"Yeah!" said everyone at the same time.

"Yeah but, I would rather marry him than fuck once right?" defended Riza with an unmistakable smile in her voice Roy just loved to hear, but at the same time he's thinking…

"_WHOTHE FUCKALREADYGODDAMMIT"_

"Ooh, I knew it Rize, you're in love with that guy! You said it yourself you'd like to fuck him more than once."

"Hey I never said that!"

"Mhmm, but you were thinking about it."

Awkward silence filled the room, after 2 seconds and a gun shot; they burst into a short fit of laughter.

"We're acting like teenagers for goodness's sake!" laughed Riza along with the rest of the people in the room. "Whoops, look at the time, I better hurry before my now so-called I-want-to-fuck-more-than-once boss throws a fit."

The girls laughed and just before Roy realized he had less than 3 seconds to move his ass or else…

"OUCH FUCK!"

"COLONEL WHAT ARE YOU-"

"Colonel?"

"What?"

"HAHA, OH MY GOSH"

The Flame Alchemist was on the floor supporting a bonk'd and wounded forehead in the shape of a doorknob. Riza Hawkeye was standing opposite to the Colonel holding the other end of the door. It may seem that Riza how supported a bright red look on her face after realizing what her boss had been doing.

The other girls, realizing what had happened, stood from where they sat or crouched and made a quick escape.

"Erm, Riza, will be going… Good day to you, Colonel." They made an awkward salute and skedaddled.

After a good amount of time of Roy pressing unto his forehead and groaning in pain, Riza decided to help him.

She sighed as she crept down beside him. "Here sir," Hawkeye pressed her sweat rag to her boss's bleeding head. "It's not that bad…"

Roy was being melodramatic of the situation after hearing what he had heard.

"Ohhhh Lieutenant, I didn't know you opened doors as fast as you could shoot a gun."

Riza smiled "Only when I'm in a hurry for you, sir."

Roy smiled as well. After a 2 second smile to each other, they quickly looked away and coughed at the same time.

"L-let's get you up," Riza supported him while he stumbled a little. "Would you like to go to the infirmary sir?"

"Tch, no thanks. The nurse there's all touchy when I get a check-up." Roy said as if he didn't even have a head wound.

"Well we can't have that now." Riza laughed a bit.

Together they walked back to the range where Riza laid her Superior down on the bench. She took off her jacket (to Roy's inner amusement) and used it as a pillow for Mustang.

"So did you mean what you said back there?" He asked with a smirk.

Riza tried her best to hide her blush "What were you even doing eavesdropping on me like that in the first place, _sir."_

"I was curious." Roy said like a child.

"And look where it got you." Riza said applying pressure on the wound.

"Ouch! Stop avoiding my question Riza or I'll ask straight out."

"Fine go ahead then, but in my defense we were playing a game."

"Oh what kind of game?" Roy's signature smirk came back again.

Riza sighed "Someone gives three names; someone else has to choose whom to kill, fuck, or marry."

"So…"

"So?"

"Who'd you want to fuck once?" Ask Roy straight away.

Riza applied more pressure on the wound. "None of your business Mustang."

"Ouch! Riza stop that!"

"Sorry, I just want to stop the bleeding" Riza said copying his smirk.

"Uh-huh, I'd understand if you'd want to fuck me over and over and over…"

Riza grabbed some rubbing alcohol from her pocket and sprayed some on the rag and pressed it right on the wound.

"And over and over agai- OUCH WHAT THE HELL."

"Sorry sir, I wouldn't want you to get an infection."

Roy tried ignoring the pain; he knew what Riza was trying to do. He kept quiet for a while after letting the pain seep in.

"So would you do it though?" He asked facing the ceiling looking as if he was watching clouds or as if he was gazing upon the starry sky.

"Do what, Roy?"

Roy smiled at the use of his first name as his Lieutenant seldom addresses him as such. He then turned his head to face her confused face. In complete innocence and honesty, he said, "Marry me."

Riza smiled, "Of course I would."

Then Roy looked up again, "I mean it's not like we haven't fucked more than once already." His smirked, if possible, was even bigger than before.

"OUCH GODDAMMIT RIZA WILL YOU STOP THAT!"

_**~End~**_

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Haha, my friends and I love playing that game. 8D Hey lets play it too my lovely readers and reviewers!

Kill, Fuck, Marry: Roy Mustang, Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto, and Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender (cartoon).

I choose all flame-boys. I myself would FK Roy (just once because he belongs to Riza LOL.), Marry Zuko (Yaaaaay), And kill Sasuke…(sorry Sasuke fans ): Nothing personal yes?)

Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did write it! Feel free to critique! :)

Love, **Sky Pastel.**


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